Letter to a College Graduate

I was recently asked by a dear friend to write a letter to his granddaughter, who is graduating from college this semester. He's asked several of her friends and mentors to do the same, which I thought was a brilliant idea. What a powerful way to collect the wisdom of those that have gone before. For my blog this week, I'm sharing my letter.

Congratulations on this incredible milestone. College graduation represents much more than a diploma. The achievement, while admirable, was never the point. What matters most is who you are becoming as you work through the problems put before you. While our education system centers on testing your knowledge - with points taken off for mistakes - life teaches that mistakes are the stepping-stones that shape us. When you see them as essential, rather than something to be avoided, they become the catalyst to your personal growth.

One thing I know about you is that curiosity fuels you. You love a good problem to solve. Welcome the puzzles that are coming your way. I can tell you with great certainty that nothing will go according to the plan you have in mind at this time. Trust your ability to adapt to and through whatever shows up. It's in the puzzle-working-problem-solving process that you build the "invisible tools" to handle whatever happens. The simple question "what's next?" will serve you in every endeavor.

We hear a lot about having grit these days. Most people think about it from a proving mindset. However, the thought "I will show them" only goes so far. My definition of grit comes from an improving mindset. In other words, operate from your inner strength rather than letting outside events decide how you feel. Every time you work through a difficult situation, you build on that inner strength if you choose to see the process as a gift.

The essence of leadership is asking for help. I work with a lot of leaders and almost to a person, they will tell you that their biggest surprise is that they don't have to have all the answers. If you could do it alone, you wouldn't need to lead anyone. There are lots of reasons we don't ask for help. We think we are burdening the other person. We think we should already know or be able to do what we are trying to do. The level to which any leader can rise is governed by their ability to ask for help.

BE you. Your time is short. Forty years will go by like a flash. And the sooner you realize your point of being on this earth is to bring only what YOU can bring, the better. Time is short and we need you. At some point in your life, you will realize that this life is yours to live. You are going to want time to express yourself as you are. The sooner you do it the better.

Please stay in touch as you move into your next endeavors. I'm thrilled and honor to be a part of your personal set of mentors.

Fondly,

Lynn Carnes