I spent my vacation week at Coble Ski School, going with the flow with a fabulous group of women for our ninth annual Women’s Week. Why were we going with flow? Irma loomed large in the days leading up to the week. Several of us started texting and emailing each other wondering what the heck to do. Would Irma go right over the site, making it unskiable? What were the alternatives? And what about all of our friends in Florida and other places that were right in the heaviest part of the storm? Yes, we are very “addicted” skiers –but what makes us want this week together so much is the support we get from likeminded women.
That’s why going with the flow was such an important way of being for all of us this week. Going with the flow meant that we held an intention to somehow get together. Yes we might ski – but more importantly, we would carry on the joy of doing what we really do each year. We would catch up, encourage each other and somehow leave a little better than we were before. We simply had to release our expectations and take whatever came.
In the end, “whatever came” turned into one of the best weeks ever. New friendships were formed, personal bests were achieved and inspiration was found everywhere. We shared the experience of walking into a movie theater with cold, rainy, windy weather and emerging to a world that was sunny, dry and ready for us to ski.
It was just another reminder for me on the importance of being intentional while releasing expectations. It’s a fine line that opens the world up for truly achieving my dreams without feeding resentments.
How do you define the difference between intention and expectation? How do you go with the flow without simply being a leaf blowing in the wind? What are your best tips for staying present even when things are not going according to plan?
I would love to hear how you have gone with the flow!
Know someone who would love this article? Share it with them
The idea of value has been on my mind lately. Think about it for a minute – how does one create value? In so many ways, that’s what business should really be here to do. It’s just so damn easy to forget. Where was the last place you spent money? Think about the value they created for you.
I spend money at our local grocery store almost every day. The value they create for me has grown over the years as my perception of what it takes to grow our food in society has met reality. For the last two years, we have been keeping our own chickens. We started with 24 hens plus a big ole, bad ass rooster. Free eggs, right? Nope, that’s not how it works. We are down to 8 hens and the rooster. What happened to the rest? Illness and mayhem. Mostly mayhem. About a dozen of them were killed by predators. They give us delicious eggs in ever shorter supply. The cost of keeping those chickens has not gone down.
My point? My eggs cost me north of $20 per dozen to produce when I factor in my hard costs (not including my daily time to feed, water and otherwise care for them.) The super expensive eggs in the grocery, the ones that I simply have to walk 30 seconds to the aisle, pick them up and pull out some cash? $6.50. Factor in all the food in that store that I don’t have to catch, kill, harvest or grow and suddenly the value of the store is exponentially higher. (Please don’t tell them; I don’t want to pay higher prices!)
Every business should have the same idea. We take resources of some sort, add our unique value to them and return something that has much more value than before. I’m surrounded by examples, from the crew that painted our walls in our house to the team that handles landscaping on Mystic Waters to the financial advisor who gets that his perspective is so much more than safekeeping my money.
I came face to face with this concept early in my leadership career, when I might as well have been a telephone wire for upper management. My team brought an idea to me that was well within my authority to approve – but I saw it as a little edgy. So my response? “I will have to ask.” This was not the first time my response had been a weak “Let me check with my superiors.” Evidently, I did it all the time. After a while, the team started wondering why they needed me and they told me so. Good point! What value was I adding? Not much to be completely honest! When I came to understand that, I began to offer so much more value and I was happier to boot. (The ego hurdles I had to overcome in order to understand that are a story for another day.)
It’s a question that we all can consider more: Where is the value? Way too often I think “I don’t want to pay for that” for things I can do myself. Looking at it strictly from a cost viewpoint, it makes sense. That massage that feels like a luxury? Is it really a luxury, when it makes me significantly more effective for the next week?
Recently, I’ve had a transformational experience that has blown my “I can do that” viewpoint to pieces.
Late last year, when I was thinking about doing more workshops here, I started a conversation with my daughter about some of my plans. She offered some good insights. Better yet, she is a masterful event coordinator and I find the logistics side of workshops way too distracting. Ok, I hate it. Opening the gate, unlocking the center, making the coffee, turning on the AC, checking for bugs on the floor was enough to make me think about retiring altogether. Except I love what I do when you take the event and back office stuff out of it. Our seed of an idea turned into a full-time job offer. I hired her before I could afford her. Best decision ever.
She has created untold value for me. She posted this blog. She takes so much off my plate, my new focus is unreal. And she is actually a damn good coach to boot. There are reasons she is so good – and there are reasons that we can work together. Not perfectly but joyfully. (We have started a podcast/vlog to share our stories.)
Stay tuned for some of the back story about the value we create together as mother and daughter. There is so much more to come.
Think about this for yourself. What value do you create? When you are working in your office or your business are you clear on how you create value? What are your tangible results? What are your intangible results?
The essential question: Are you a value maker or a value taker?
Don’t use these questions to beat yourself up or question your value as a human. That is not the intent.
If you question your value as a human, call me. I will give you my spiel on that!
These questions are being asked to free you to get clarity and to be a badass at what you do. When you look at what you do through a lens of adding value, watch out world. You will be a creative spirit unleashed!
Know someone who would love this article? Email or share below!Lynn Carnes accelerates change and unleashes leadership performance in organizations, especially in context of challenges without easy answers. She loves to hear about how your experiments with these ideas turn out. To contact her or share your experiences email firstname.lastname@example.org
Know someone who would love this article? Share it with them.
Inspiring new ways to look at learning, growth, and reinvention, whether in leadership, athletics, art or life.
Once you have subscribed, you will be sent a confirmation email. Please go and check your inbox, if you do not see a confirmation email, it may have gone to your spam folder.