Since hearing Dr. Gabor Mate describe the balancing act of Attachment and Self Expression,  I found myself using the two-part dichotomy as a self-awareness tool. Most of the time, I could see my ineffective actions as coming out of the Attachment side of the balancing act. Either I was people pleasing, or seeking approval, or fearing rejection, or wanting to be seen as good enough, or something else I would put under the big category of "survival". Once in a while, I would find myself overusing Self Expression, putting my needs over others to everyone's detriment.

One of the conversations I find myself in a lot these days involves a client asking me how to get people to change. Makes sense - a lot of my clients are in businesses that are constantly having to respond to new competition, new market conditions or little things like a new virus that spread across the globe with astonishing speed. Business is really about change.

As we come up to the end of one of the weirdest years ever, I’ve been reflecting on the good, the bad and ugly of the year.Back in March, I wrote a post called Rough Waters Make Good Sailors. We were such innocents in March. This new thing call a pandemic was just beginning. We were going into shutdowns that were believed to solve the problem if only we would shelter in place for a few weeks. Surely this would all be over by summer, right?As I watched all kinds of fun plans melt off of my calendar, I wondered what I could still do. In the spring, I was just taking up sculling on the lake. Would that be allowed? How about riding horses? Water skiing? Hiking?

As we come up to the end of one of the weirdest years ever, I’ve been reflecting on the good, the bad and ugly of the year.Back in March, I wrote a post called Rough Waters Make Good Sailors. We were such innocents in March. This new thing call a pandemic was just beginning. We were going into shutdowns that were believed to solve the problem if only we would shelter in place for a few weeks. Surely this would all be over by summer, right?As I watched all kinds of fun plans melt off of my calendar, I wondered what I could still do. In the spring, I was just taking up sculling on the lake. Would that be allowed? How about riding horses? Water skiing? Hiking?